I have been a Jewish woman for over a decade, but my inner being and my outer being no longer match up. How I feel on the inside, what I think about and who I am no longer reflect clearly on the outside of me.
Converting to Orthodox Judaism will bring the inside of me and the outside of me into alignment now.
It wouldn't be fair to say, "I have been going through the motions..." because the depth of my genuine connection to Judaism every Friday night at candle lighting time is real. My prayers in English are real. The joy of preparing for and observing Passover is real.
The best way I can describe my transition is this - I am joining the Jewish women throughout history in a tangible way. Being an Orthodox Jewish woman makes me a reflection in a new way. Well, it's new in my life. Being an Orthodox Jewish woman is a timeless, historical reality!
This personal journey on the inside and the outside of me is very specifically my own. It's not the same for every Jewish woman. When and where we are born, how we are raised, and what phase of life we are living in all form the vessel we inhabit. Yes, it's like a container that holds who we are as we move through our places and our years.
Jewish women are not all the same, but we are connected. Jewish women know each other in an unspoken way. I am converting to Orthodox Judaism as a Jewish woman in my place and time, for all time.
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